Attitude Adjustment

When She travels, i spend extended periods self-locked into a chastity device.  During Her most recent trip, for example, i have remained locked from as soon as Her car slipped away around the corner.  i have about 36 hours left before She returns.  In total, i will remain in my chastity device for 7 days plus a number of extra hours.  i will take the chastity device off before She returns.

Odd? Maybe. It is a bit like running a marathon...or so i am told.  No one would be upset with you if you quit early but you press on toward the finish line with your own drive and determination.  Sure, i could let myself out at any time but doing so would defeat the purpose of putting it on in the first place.  Hell, i often feel guilty having an orgasm after an extended period of denial - it is like Ironman Cal Ripken Jr. taking a seat for a game when he didn't really need to physically.

i have found throughout my life that i am destined to be a pleaser.  i am the golden retriever of the male species.  i know that She expects that i won't touch myself, masturbate, orgasm, what have you, while She is traveling.  i also know that i am prone to taking advantage of free time in  just such a manner and that i act on impulse very often.  Hence, self-locking is my solution.

Why self-locking and not Wife enforced locking?  Very good question.  i have joked about things in the past to try to get a feel for the level of "freak out" that introducing enforced locking would cause.  i have not gotten to a comfort level that She will not totally freak out.  i am still debating revealing my secret to Her when She returns, but it is not a very hearty debate.

All of this is background for my most recent discovery.  i habitually will masturbate if left to my own devices - hey, i'm male and i have a very strong libido.  During this trip, the first night i locked, i still wanted to browse the darker corners of the internet.  When i say "i wanted," i mean i had the itch, the crazy eyes, the whole works.  The addict in me wanted to take advantage of the privacy and freedom provided by Her trip.  Alas, the chastity device prevented that. 

Over the last 5 days, the desire to take things into my own hands, so to speak, has ebbed and flowed but also has steadily decreased to the point that i have a very low grade desire to prowl around those dark corners.  i find this psychological impact interesting - i know that nothing can result, so the efforts have fallen off dramatically.  i have focused on cleaning Her bedroom and Her bathroom.  i want Her to be able to drop Her bags and immediately rest upon Her return.  Foot rubs, back rubs and scalp massages await Her, if She wants to receive them.

This is the reason i self-lock.  Now, if someone would only invent the chastity device for tweets...