Monday, June 10, 2013

Maybe i Am A Little Bit Gay

This weekend, on Sunday, i was thinking about whether i could be gay or not.  Not as in "am i gay?" but, more like, "is it possible for me to think/behave like a gay guy?"

Let me start with this: i truly don't care whether people are gay or not.  They are who they are and i accept and love them for who they are.  Gay, straight, bi ... i see everyone as a person, not a class of people.  i can't wait until the day when we stop trying to break society into a number of factions or groups and, instead, we start viewing everyone as distinctly different but still a valued part of the human race.

With that said, and maybe it was the pride weekend postings i saw from West Hollywood, but i was thinking about the question this weekend.  i was pleasantly surprised when i saw that Thumper also was thinking about the question.  See his posting here: "How i Know i am Not Gay"

Like Thumper, i must profess that "i love pussy."  My Wife does not believe me, but i could camp out down there and nuzzle, kiss, lick, suck and otherwise enjoy my time for hours.  i love the taste and, even more, i love the pleasure that giving oral provides to the recipient.  But it doesn't stop there for me.

i love the feminine form ... even when it is me pretending to be feminine.
i love the feminine form.  i love the curves of the larger bodies.  i love the softness of the female face.  i love the strength in the legs of some women.  i love the beauty in the tight body of some women.  i love the breasts in all women.  i love the makeup.  i love the hair styles.  i love the clothing.  i love the shoes.  i love how the makeup, the hair, the shoes, and the clothing work together to accentuate the form, curves, softness, strength and beauty.  In short, i love everything there is about the appearance of women.  i can't find a single aspect of the appearance of women that is disagreeable to me.

As i explore my innermost thoughts, desires and dreams, i find that i would love to be a woman; i am not, however, attracted to men.  i think the male body, including the penis, just is not pretty or cute.  In all of the pictures i see of gay men, and of all of the gay men that are my friends, i just am not attracted to them sexually.  Thinking of men in a sexual manner does nothing to turn me on.  i just enjoy being with women sexually too much.

On the other hand, and maybe confusingly, a penis on a shemale/transvestite/transgender/crossdresser ... i need to spend more time dwelling on that before i can come to any conclusions.  The softness of the appearance usually is enough for me to forgive the existence/presence of a penis.  For now, i'll call that a draw.

In any event, i am convinced that i am a little bit gay: the female part of me loves women and so, if i was a woman, i would definitely be a lesbian.  Because i have a part of me that is feminine...i am a lesbian trapped in a male body; that makes me just a little bit gay.

There, i said it, i am a little bit gay. ;-)